When Life went upside down
by AAJ Edward
Summary: Life with Lust wouldn't be all that bad, right? I'll let you decide as your follow Edward Elric and his new family through the flash backs of when he first met his Wife... Lust.
1. The big news

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist (no matter how much I wish I did) Nor do I own any of the characters... ((Except for Liam))

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This story has been rotting in the back of my mind for the longest time ever. I mean literally. The characters all have had their own lives and Edward is now 23, Alphonse being 22. From there you can figure out everyone else's ages. This an EdXLust story so bear with me….

The sun was well above the horizon as Ed made his way to military HQ. He was drowsy from the last few nights of little sleep and he was having trouble keeping his eyes open. He stumbled his way down the hall and sat down at his desk in the main office. he greeted Havoc and Feury with a sleepy nod. Riza eventually arrived and reported that Edward was to go see Colonel Mustang immediately.

Edward arrived at Mustang's office only to have his daily dose of height insults, yelling, orders, paper work and sor forth. By the time the day was over a slight head ache had crept it's way up and between his eyes. mix the new pain with his sleep deprived state and you get an easily irritated chibi. He managed to arrive back at his dorm and find his bed before he fell asleep. He curled up into a small ball, not bothering to change his clothes.

It was nearly two hours later when his phone rang. Ed opened one eye and groaned. He looked around and then closed it again.  
"This can't be happening..." He groaned before getting up and answering the phone just to stop the insistant ringing.  
"hello?" he half growled half mumbled.  
"Edward..."   
"Lust!?!" Ed said, now fully awake. "Why are you calling me at this time of all hours!?!"  
"Well... I... Ed... you remember a few weeks ago... when..."  
"How could I forget?"  
"Well... I'm... pregnant..." Ed nearly dropped the phone.

Rain pelted the windows as Ed fumbled with his pocket watch. He was at the station in Central. Just what he needed, the train was fifteen minutes late and he himself was about to be late as well if things didn't begin to lighten up for the mood. And again, just his luck, who happened to be there right as the train pulled up? Maes Heughes and Roy Mustang. Oh joy.


	2. Calling on Alphonse

Here i am again with another chapter... well here ya go...

Disclaimer: I don NOT own FMA

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Ed looked away hoping they hadn't seen him. They walked passed and a sigh of relief escaped his tightly closed lips. The train arrived and he hurried over to the platform to greet Lust. She was the second one off the train seeing as most the men wanted to watch her ass as she walked.

Ed hurried over to her and took the few suitcases she had. She greeted him a warm smile and he nodded in return.

"Welcome to Central. Not that special is it?" Ed finally said as they walked out of the main building and onto the streets of Central. It was still drizzling though not nearly as bad as it had been before, in fact it was beginning to stop all together. The day was warm and the streets were beginning to fill with people in the everyday bustle.

"It's… busy…" Lust replied, looking around. "Busier than the last time I was here…." Ed nodded.

"The General's got something planned. He's been looking through old files and the like. I'm guessing you'll be staying at my place?" He said with a slight chuckle, remembering the first time she'd been over at his house.

"Of course, unless you'd rather I stay somewhe-"

"That's fine. I really don't mind. It'll be nice to have some one else in the house." Ed said, cutting her off before she could finish her other thought.

"You sure?" she asked, knowing what the answer would be. Her chibi was easy enough to predict.

"Of course I'm sure!" he said rather defensively. "I wouldn't tell you to come to Central and then have you stay at some sleazy hotel!" Lust forced her self to suppress a laugh as she followed Edward to his house.

They finally arrived right as it began to pour once again. Edward was beginning to despise rain. Lust was soaked through and Ed was clearly water logged, but he grabbed two towels, handed one to Lust and let her use the shower first.

((Ok… because I have the patience of a gnat's attention span… we'll skip ahead a few weeks…. Can we say major time jump? You guys are getting a treat…. This next half was meant to be the beginning of chapter four, but since I can't think of the crap that's supposed to fill up the gap in the story until then I'm just gonna throw it all together and make it earlier than I had planned…))

"Al…Al…Al! …AL!" Ed stood by the window in his living room. The phone was balanced between his shoulder and his ear. He folded his arms across his chest and allowed a frown to form. He'd called Alphonse after an excruciatingly long discussion with Lust. He was desperately trying to get the younger Elric to shut up just long enough to tell him why he'd called. Al was going on about how he'd called him so suddenly and there for something must be up.

"And so! I guessed that you needed money! And then I remembered you had a job! So then I thought maybe he decided to finally admit he loves Roy! And so I'm gonna guess that you called to tell me that you and Roy-"

"ALPHONSE!"

"Yes?"

"That's not it… If you'll be quiet for a few minutes I'll tell you why I called…" Ed sighed. Al nodded and then remembered his brother couldn't see it.

"Yeah… sorry…"

"Good… Al… I've been seeing some one for a while now and-"

"YOU POPPED THE QUESTION!?!" Al's shriek sounded and Ed flinched, grabbing the phone from his ear and leaning away from it. Once again he was yelling at Al to get him to stop ranting.

"YES! I did but-"

"BUT!?! ARE YOU HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS!?!"

"HOW CAN I HAVE SECOND THOUGHTS WITH YOU SCREAMING IN MY EAR!?!"

"Sorry…" Al whispered. Ed rolled his eyes before continuing.

"As I was saying, I did, but not before they called me up a few weeks ago. Al… I'm gonna tell you something I want you to think over before you answer…ok?"

"Uh-huh… sure." Al replied, nodding his head, not caring if it was wasted.

"Al… I've been… well see… why me? Al! Lust's pregnant with my kid!" He finally growled out and hung up only seconds later, slamming the phone back onto the hook.

"Edward! Don't break the phone!" Lust called from the kitchen.

((the rest I'll save for next chapter…))


	3. Side chapter

Okay this is just a side thing, an extra if you will to make up on my lack of updating. I am currently working on piecing together the next chapter so don't worry I hope to have that up soon. I hope so desperately I do. Now this was something two of my friends and I did when we were at a speech meet. Well, actually we were waiting for the awards to be given out so we were keeping ourselves busy. So this is basically just nonsense filled by sugar and boredom. So please… no flames… this is just random stupidity….-' oh! And I'm writing this exactly as it's written on the paper so…. Bare with me.

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Lust- Alphonse!

Al- What?

Lust- You stole my noodles!

Al- Did not! stuffs noodles into mouth

Lust- You are such a ho!

Al- I'm sorry, Ho isn't here right now. You may refer to me as Ms Kohler.

Ed- Ms Kohler… your husbands on the phone, would you like to take this call?

Al- I'm sorry, you, may tell Mr. Roy that I'm not available.

Ed- listens and nods He says he wants another divorce… he's found another… man.

Lust- It's Dante… I just know it…

Al- You may tell Mr. Roy that my people will contact his people. Also tell him that I hope he is happy with Mr. Edward.

Ed- eye twitch He's with Havoc you homonger!

Lust- To Ed Shush! Say Dante!

Ed- why?

Lust- 'Cause Al dated her once, it didn't work out.

Ed- O.O

Al- Groossssss!! - I love you! - Marry me!

Lust- who are you talking to?

Al- both of you! - Marry me!

Lust- …homonger.

Ed- Marital incest…? O…M…F…G…! runs away

Al- so? you forgot homosexuality.

Lust- Al, you are so bi.

Ed- isn't it obvious?

Lust- Totally, but I know you and I are straight, isn't that right?

Al- …O…M…G…you're pregnant aren't you! Ed how could you!

Lust- . How dare you say that!

Ed- whispers to Lust How'd he find out?

Lust- IDK

Al- I heard you! Geeze, you two were loud enough! Gross… that's just nasty on so many levels.

Lust- So…

Ed- muttered you married her…

Al- Uh-uh!! You're gross!! - you know that you fought me for her!

Lust- -'

Ed- ……I don't remember that…

Al- That's because you were so drunk! It was gross! You were like drooling all over and you were like 'She's mine!' and I was like 'Uh-uh!'

Ed- I've avoided liquor ever since Los Vegas and you didn't even know Lust then…

Al- Uh-uh! I met her at that whore-house- I mean never mind.

Lust- -.-' homonger…

Ed- !?! I think this is something I should know about. Gives ze Elric glare

Lust- Greed forced me!

Al- Right, you looked like you were enjoying being his ho.

Lust- T.T

Ed- You're lucky I love you so much, hugs Lust

Al- anyway… how's the weather- not too hot, not too cold.

Lust- Eww. I can fight about that statement.

Al- Shut up, you stupid, ugly ho!

Ed- hits Al over head Now what was that Alphonse?

Al- -.-

Ed- I thought so.

Lust- -

Ed- chuckles and mutters to self(To annoy Al) I wonder if it will be a girl or a boy…

Al- I hope it's a boy, so it can have your hideous face! looks mad And-and I hope it's deformed. With seven fingers and-and one eye!

Ed- You're thinking of YOUR son, Al… yours and Winry's … that b.

Lust- - I love you!

Ed- Yes. hugs

Al- … You put your hand THERE! EWWW!!!!! Don't touch my ho! blasts Ed's head open and deflates Lust's… well you know

Lust- You missed.

Ed- laughs and jumps out from behind a dummy Ed HAHA!

Al- … you are such a gay guy… Ho!

Lust- Santa banger!

Ed- He's a grave robber… And I'm NOT the one who slept with ROY!

Al- Now I'm officially done talking to both of you! Talk to each other or something!

Lust- Ed, he's touching me!

Ed- clutches Lust Mine.

Al- Damn you, ho's!

Lust- So… what should we name the baby?

Ed- Dunno… I was thinking Chase… How 'bout you? Any ideas?

Lust- nope… I'm terrible at picking names… -'

Al- I HATE YOU ALL GO DIE OK!

Ed- Hey Al… what would you like your niece or nephew named?

Al- …Go fuck yourself!

Ed- Al is such a barnacle.

Lust- I know.

Wrath- HOOGABOOGA!

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That was it! Sorry if I offended anyone! I mean hey! I myself am bi so… yeah. It was just made for a random boredness… not to offend anyone or to diss any kind of person. Sorry if it did.

Thankyou to my two helpers!

Arat fo playing out Lust's part

Yllek for playing Al's part

And of course I added Ed's part! Hope you liked it! - R&R!!!! -


	4. 3 What is Envy?

FINALLY!!!! THE LONG AWAITED REAL THIRD CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT!

So without further a due… Here it is!

ALSO!!!!! Flames will no longer be accepted for this fanfic. please respect the fact that i am a terrible writer and understand that i know this. thank you. please enjoy.

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BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! The alarm was mixed with a low, sluggish groan. A few thumps issued as an auto mail arm reached out and blindly searched for the "Snooze" button. Minutes later it was found and the arm snaked back under the blankets only to pull back the covers soon after to reveal a sleepy eyed blond. His honey colored eyes were clouded with sleep and he stretched, rubbing his eyes. A small yawn and he looked over at the clock. 7:30 A.M., enough time to be late for work. 

"Wait… work! Shit!" Edward scrambled out of bed and found his clothing. He dashed into the bathroom and hurried through a shower. A tired groan came from the other side of the bed. Lust sat up and frowned, wrapping the blankets around her chest. She looked at the light coming from the windows and at the clock, her frown deepening.

"Edward… what's wrong?" She called over to the closed bathroom door. Ed came back out, fully dressed, and frantically braiding his hair. He came back into the room and looked around for his pocket watch. Finding it, he clipped it to his belt and slipped it into his pocket.

"I'm late for work." Lust rolled her eyes. Her chibi could be so naïve at times. Ed was frantically running around the house. She could hear him in the kitchen. She got up and took a blanket with her.

"Edward…" Lust said, entering the kitchen.

"Hm?" came the quick response as he searched for his trademark trench coat. She sighed.

"Edward…" she tired again. Ed found his coat and was now searching for his boots. Lust caught him as he passed by and held him close.

"Edward…" She purred into his ear. "It's Sunday…"

"You mean…" Ed sighed and relaxed a little. Lust chuckled.

"Yes Edward, you got up early on your day off."

After her morning routine, Lust walked into the kitchen for the second time that morning and sat down at the table. Edward placed a full plate before he on the table and went to get himself a plate. (1) Lust eyed the food and body seemed to remember something. She stood and hurried to the bathroom.

Ed looked over his shoulder at the empty seat. He sighed, knowing exactly where she'd gone. He entered the bathroom to find Lust doubled over the toilet. Her shoulders shook and her hair was falling around her face. He walked over and lifted her hair out of the way and placed a hand on her back, rubbing her shoulders in a comforting manor.

Once back in the kitchen, Lust sat in her chair, picking at her food more than eating. Ed had finished a while ago and was slowly sipping at a mug of coffee. He was worried more about the Humunculus before him.

"Lust… you need to eat." He finally said, breaking the silence. She looked up at him with the coldest of glares. Shock only briefly crossed his face but it was gone as soon as it had come. He sighed and looked away submissively. He hated these mood swings of hers and he knew she hated them even more. He found it was best to just keep his mouth shut. Those few moments when he failed to do so; however, he found it easy to apologize or become silent and submit than say anything that might anger her further.

"Do you think I can keep anything down!?!" she hissed. Ed hung his head.

"I'm sorry. I'm just worried…" He regretted his words the instant they came out of his mouth.

"You're worried!?!" She was glaring daggers at him by this point. She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair, setting her jaw defiantly. Ed flinched and whispered a quiet apology. Her eyes softened and she suddenly felt the need to cry. The tears came and apologies rushed out in a torrent of words. Edward quickly grabbed a chocolate bar from the counter and handed it to her. She sniffled and gratefully accepted it.

A few things pushed into Ed's thoughts as he watched Lust nibble at the chocolate in her hands. One was he was still waiting to here back from Al(2). The second was getting time off work without having to owe Mustang and without telling anyone at Central. Ed checked his watch with a sigh. It was worth a try(3). Leaving the room, Edward picked up the phone and dialed the Rockbell's number. After three rings someone picked up.

"Hello? Rockbell residence." Came a cheerful voice.

"Hello Winry…" Ed said rather flatly. They still weren't on good terms.

"Ed ward…" Came the growled response.

"Is Alphonse there?"

"No. He went to town to pick up a few things for lunch." The tart reply echoed in Ed's ears as she purposely hit a high screeching note.

"thanks… Let him know I called." Ed grumbled before hanging up. He glared at the phone for a few minutes before being startled back into reality.

"That bitch piss you off again?" Lust's voice sounded from the couch just feet away. Ed looked up, knowing she was her normal self.

"Lust…" he warned.

"What? You know it's true…"She said, patting the cushion next to her. Ed sat down and sighed.

"Yeah… but Al's engaged to her." Lust chuckled.

"So your ex-wife is going to become your sister in law?"

"Sadly…"

the next morning……..

Ed sighed as he made his way slowly to Central HQ. It was quiet and he decided he was going to enjoy the quiet while it lasted, knowing it would be overly obnoxious with Havoc, Feury, and Breda platting to get him a girl. They'd have heart attacks if they knew about Lust.

"Ky-ah!" ed landed on his face and noticed a certain weight on his back.

"YOU! FULLMETAL PIPSQUEAK! WHAT'D YOU DO TO MY SISTER!?!"

"It's nice to see you to Envy…" Came the muffled, sarcastic reply.

"You… YOU MANWHORE! YOU KNOCKED UP LUST!" Envy wrenched Ed off the ground and held him by the collar of his shirt. Ed didn't flinch.

"Yes Envy… now would you mind letting me go…" He said flatly, his day already ruined. Envy frowned and let him go.

"Shouldn't you be trying to rip my head off? Kill me? DO SOMETHING ELRIC BESIDES IGNORING ME!" Envy screeched, shaking the poor Alchemist. He'd come in hopes that he could beat the blond, possibly kill him and here he was trying to get a reaction out of him. Ed sighed.

"Here… take my key… here's the address… go visit your sister. I'll be back after work. We'll talk then?" He asked. Envy blinked but let him go and nodded. Ed walked off and Envy headed off towards the address. He didn't know why he was doing this and being so nice to Ed, but he was. He hated it but figured he might be able to kill the twerp later when he arrived back home. Right at the moment, his sister was his main concern.

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(1) He learned to cook from Al

(2)After telling Al about Lust, he hung up and didn't give Al time to reply so he's worried seeing as he hasn't heard from his brother.

(3)I made a rhyme! -


	5. Assignment

I am back! From outer space! Any way! not really i'm just back from my aweful writer's block! But i am back and with a brand new chapter! It's kinda short, but it's all i could manage without ruing half the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own... no matter how much i wish i did...TT

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"Come now Fullmetal… It'll be a quick in and out trip! Just go check on the city efforts and talk to their mayor to see if they need any supplies. After that you can come back and relax. Did I mention you'd be leading the small squadron?" Ed slumped and glared defeated at the man before him. Only one thing could describe the raven-haired man at the moment.

"Colonel bastard…" Ed snatched the files none too gently off the man's desk and stalked out of the room. Passing various people, Ed finally made it back to his office and stepped in, slamming the door with a muttered curse.

"Edward dear! Please don't break the door..." Ed froze.

"No no no no… this isn't happening…" He whispered to himself before turning to face his desk. There Lust sat in his chair, pink stationary covered in kittens and a silver pen in hand. She scribbled something else down and looked up. He didn't even want to know what she was doing and why she was using that stationary of all the choices she had at the stores. He blinked back his surprised and let the panic rise in his throat.

"Lust! What are you dong here!?! How'd you get here!?! And does any one know you're!?!" He rushed, stumbling over his words slightly in his shocked state. She just smiled and stood, walking over to him.

"Why chibi! I wanted to see you! I walked and the only other person that knows I'm here is Riza. She agreed to keep quiet after I explained everything to her."

"But… I just sent Envy to the house! He's…. oh god!" Ed groaned, leaning against the wall. Lust set her hand on his auto mail shoulder and gave him an apologetic look.

"He won't destroy the house…"

"No… he'll just make a mess… And Al's supposed to be arriving tonight. He's staying until the baby's born and that'll be for another six months and…" He sighed defeated.

"What else is bothering you?"

"I have to go back to Lior and see how reconstruction is going. Roy's sending four others and me in two days. Al's going to be staying behind and other than that… no one will be there to make sure you're ok for the week I'm gone and-" Lust put a finger to Ed's lips and smiled.

"Easily fixed! I'll just join you!" Ed stuttered.

"but-you-I-it-but-"

"No buts Edward. I'm going with you and that's final."

"Edward who are you- OH MY GOD!!!!" They both turned in time to see Havoc faint. Ed paled. Roy was seen seconds later, standing in the door way.

"Um… hi?"

((After work))

Ed found himself trying to puzzle out how Roy had been so easy going about the situation with he and Lust. The woman had tried to kill Roy and Havoc after all. And then the man agreed to let her tag along as long as Al came and she stuck close to the two Elrics. _Al's just gonna love this… _He thought as he walked home. Lust was already at the house seeing as she gone home early to talk to Envy before Ed got back.

He entered the house and was greeted by Lust and Envy arguing. He sighed. This is just what he needed to finish off his day, a pissed off Envy.

"Envy! Don't put all the blame on him! It's partially my fault! Plus! I want to have this kid!"

"Right! He's brain washed you! Does Dante even know about the two of you?"

"Of course! I told her before I was even thinking about telling you…" Ed inwardly flinched. _Owned Envy… Owned. _He thought as he entered the room.

"Um… sorry for interrupting but…" The two looked over at him. Envy glowered at him while Lust just grinned.

"Ne… shorty…" Ed twitched but Envy continued. "What the hell do you think you're doing in brain washing my sister?" Ed frowned.

"Brain washing your sister? If anything Envy, Lust has me terrified with her mood swings." Lust rolled her eyes.

"What I tell ya? Now lay off Envy before I call mother here…" Envy growled, but stood and left the house.


	6. Author Side Note

Alright, guys, so here's what's going on:

At the moment, I am having some family issues going on. My mom's currently getting engaged and my family's expanding, but it's a long road until things are settled. So I haven't had a lot of time to really think of what I'm going to be doing next or long enough to string more than a few sentences together.

Also, it's almost the end of the school year and as a senior, things are hectic. My school work comes first and I just want to survive these last 20 some days so I can get my diploma and get ready for college.

I will be updating as soon as I can. No promises on dates though. I'm sorry for those of you that have been waiting a long time for a story update, but notes on my stories are on the back burner for a while.

I'm glad you want me to update, however, I do not need threats of bodily harm in my reviews. It will not make me update faster. I am sorry, but please, try to be mature about this. Just put it on Story Alert and I promise I will update as soon as I can.

-AAJEdward


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